Trinity Sunday
On March 10, 1985, I was in a small apartment on Hong Kong Island with 80 people worshipping God. Jackie Pullinger gave a talk and we continued worshipping, singing songs in English then in Cantonese. Towards the end of the meeting, a man stood up and said he felt that God was saying that there was a person who was afraid and that God was saying, there is no need to be afraid. Jackie then invited us to pair up and pray for each other. I was there with a lovely lady, Liz, whose Bible study group I was attending. Liz put her arm across my shoulders and asked me what I would like to pray for. As she said this I was overwhelmed with fear. It was a fear of giving myself to Jesus. Jackie came and joined us and as she prayed the fear went and was replaced by peace. She then asked me if I wished to receive the gift of tongues - this is a heavenly language given to some Christians. I dumbly nodded and as she prayed I found myself speaking in tongues. It was as if a curtain had lifted. Somehow the Bible made much more sense, it was much more real to me, and I understood passages and made connections with my life that I had not previously done so. There was a change in me - a lightness and joy I had not known, and I began to discern God’s guidance in little and big decisions. The Holy Spirit had come upon me and has remained with me ever since. So Pentecost, which we celebrated last week, has always held a special place in my heart as it reminds me of the transformation of that day.
Jesus describes the Holy Spirit as the helper, the counsellor, the one who guides us into truth, who reveals the Father to us. And just as the Gospels describe the Holy Spirit coming upon Jesus at his baptism, and last weeks Acts reading recorded the moment when the Holy Spirit came upon the disciples, empowering and energising them, so similarly today the Holy Spirit still comes upon us today - for some in dramatic ways like me, for others in more gentle subtle ways, filling and transforming over a period of time. Both ways are authentic. Both ways are real and point to our daily need of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Just as we need physical food each day, so we need a daily replenishment of the Holy Spirit. The presence of God within us. The extraordinary reality is that God partners with us to bring in his Kingdom in the world - and it is the Holy Spirit who does this in us, giving us pictures and words from God so that we can know how to pray in a situation, receive guidance and reassurance and draw others into faith. So for many years my focus on God was with the Holy Spirit. But I felt there was more.
Three and a half year ago I did a thirty day silent retreat at St Beuno’s Spirituality Centre as part of my sabbatical. My hope was that I would come closer to Jesus, would know him better. It was an extraordinary time. After day eight I had a sense of Jesus walking with me, talking to me. We spent 7 days meditating on the final 36 hours of Jesus leading to the cross. It was a gruelling time accompanying him to his death. Thankfully this was followed by the resurrection and finally the Ascension. I am constantly blown away by the fact that God the Word, there at the creation of the universe should come down to earth as a human being and allow himself to die an horrific death. God on the cross. All so that we can be cleansed of our sins and come into the Father’s presence. Jesus, fully man, fully human yet also fully God did this for us. This shows the extravagant and incredible love God has for each one of us. A love that knows no bounds. A sacrificial love that gives and gives even when it hurts.
Last month I went back to St Beuno’s for an 8 day silent retreat. I was a little nervous and unsure as to how it would go, as it was much shorter than the 30 day. I had known the Holy Spirit for over 40 years, had met beautifully with Jesus on the 30 day retreat, this time I wanted to meet more with God the Father. Again it was amazing. Not quite so fluid as before, but still with a strong sense of God being present and guiding me and revealing the Father to me. I found the labyrinth and art room were places where I met the Father the most. I am still learning to live in the wonder of this, to shift from living for approval to living from approval, to live knowing that God the Father loves me, likes me and is actually rather fond of me!
One thing I did was to underline the word Father in John’s gospel. I have read these verses so many times, but was surprised at what I noticed. Jesus constantly points to the Father. He only does what he sees the Father doing, is always obedient to the Father in order to glorify the Father, says that the Father is in him and he in the Father, and is always praying to the Father - notice that the Lord’s Prayer is addressed to Our Father in heaven, not to Jesus, nor to the Holy Spirit and in talking about heaven he spoke of his Father’s house. Now Jesus is in heaven sitting at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us now, praying to the Father for us. There is a sense of the Father having ultimate authority - Only the Father knows when the new heaven and the new earth will be formed, when Jesus will come again. While on earth, Jesus’ teaching and his testimony came from the Father, and all authority in heaven and earth was given to Jesus, and the judgment of us has been entrusted to him. The one who has been a human being and shared our weaknesses and vulnerabilities is the one who will judge us at the end of time. That is so reassuring. Every action of Jesus pointed to the Father, even his last words on the cross were directed to Father - Father, forgive them they do not know what they are doing. So I am shifting my prayers so that they are directed to the Father, through the Son, in the power of the Holy Soirit - sound familiar?
There is one more point i want to make. The Gospels record that the Father sent Jesus to earth. Sent Jesus - part of me struggles with this, the idea that the Father sends his only Son to die. On the 30 day retreat one of my meditations included a conversation in heaven between the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit on how to rescue humankind - together they discussed the various options and the challenges and dangers of Jesus coming to earth as a vulnerable baby and then allowing himself to die on a cross. It was a mutual agreement. This is the wonder of God being three persons and yet one God. They are in a deep relationship with each other, each having their own particular purpose, and yet fully in tune and harmony with each other, knowing and understanding what the other is thinking and feeling, characterised by self giving love. A relationship of love is their identity. And they beckon us into that relationship, to experience the love of the Father, to know and live in the salvation offered by the Son and to receive the guidance, the infilling and the power of the Holy Spirit. We are called to live out that relationship in our lives everyday, a relationship with God and a relationship with each other, loving each other in the same self giving way that Jesus showed. That is a deep challenge but it is our purpose in life, the reason for our existence and to avoid that is to lose our humanity, to be less human than what we are created for.
So on this Trinity Sunday, as we reflect on God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit, I ask is there one of these that you know less well than the other two? If that is the case then I encourage you to ask God for help in getting to know that one better. And if you struggle with loving God or loving other people, if your relationships are not as good as you would like, then again talk to God and ask for his help in knowing his love for you. God hears and will lovingly and gently respond.
Amen.